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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28305438">a thoughtless we</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardspiritanimals/pseuds/awkwardspiritanimals'>awkwardspiritanimals</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:55:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28305438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardspiritanimals/pseuds/awkwardspiritanimals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Olivia thinks she probably should have expected to find Rafael leaning against her apartment door.</p><p>(A soft, warm morsel of a fic about two people who adore each other)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Barba &amp; Olivia Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Barson Secret Santa 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a thoughtless we</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/gifts">Ava_now</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Michelle's only request was no Noah, so I hope you and everyone else enjoy this soft little fic. I also know that romantic Barson isn't always your thing, so I tried to keep this mostly ambiguous; after the end, maybe they kiss, or maybe they just wake up later and eat ice cream. Choose your own adventure!</p><p>The title comes from<br/><a href="https://readwildness.com/20/mello-home">"When Looking for Home" by Aline Mello.</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Olivia thinks she probably should have expected to find Rafael leaning against her apartment door. The squad doesn’t do anything halfway when they join together to bully her into taking some time off. Amanda had offered to take Noah for a sleepover, and she wouldn’t put it past Carisi or even Fin to have called Rafael to ask him to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn’t just keep working at home.</p><p>“I don’t need a babysitter,” she says, raising her eyebrows at him until he steps aside so she can unlock her door.</p><p>“How about someone to make dinner while you take a shower and relax?” he responds, holding up the bag in his hand.</p><p>“I might be convinced,” she says, and then steps forward to hug him, resting her forehead on his shoulder. She really is exhausted, and she’s always glad to see him.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Hey,” he says, laughing.</p><p>He wraps his free arm around her waist and presses a kiss against her temple. Once they’re inside, he gently pushes her in the direction of her bedroom as he heads toward the kitchen. She can’t remember the last time she could just relax in the shower without having to rush through it or spend the entire time thinking about something else, so she lingers for much longer than she normally would, letting the hot water ease some of the tension from the last few busy weeks from her muscles.</p><p>When she finally emerges, skin flushed from the heat and her hair only mostly dry, Rafael is pulling something out the oven. She waits until he’s set it down before wrapping her arms around his waist, pressing her forehead against his back between his shoulder blades. He rests one hand on hers, skimming his thumb across her fingers.</p><p>“Feeling better?”</p><p>“Hmmm. Come here.”</p><p>“How much more <em> here </em> do you want me to be?” he says, chuckling, but when she pulls on one side of his shirt, he turns in her arms, wrapping his own around her shoulders. “Better?”</p><p>Olivia nods, her head tucked into his neck, and after a few moments, he starts to sway them gently to the soft music he’d put on. The kitchen is warm from the oven, and she lets her eyes close as he hums quietly near her ear.</p><p>“Don’t fall asleep, Liv, not until you’ve eaten at least.”</p><p>She makes a sound of disappointment in her throat, but she does open her eyes and lift her head from his shoulder.</p><p>“I like this. Dancing with you.”</p><p>“I’m not sure this qualifies as dancing.”</p><p>“Anything more athletic than this wouldn’t really fit the mood for the evening.”</p><p>He throws his head back with a laugh. “And what’s that?”</p><p>“That I’m tired and I’m glad you’re here.”</p><p>He laughs again, shifting to take her hand and spin her in a lazy twirl.</p><p>“Come on, let’s eat.”</p><p>-------------</p><p>Olivia blinks awake, unsure how long she’s been asleep. It’s dark out now, but that doesn’t mean all that much at this time of year, when it gets dark so quickly. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep when she’d lay down in the first place, head resting on one of Rafael’s thighs and his fingers playing with her hair, but she really is tired.</p><p>Rafael doesn’t seem to mind that she’s trapped him on her couch. He’s got an open paperback in one hand, and he seems perfectly content to stay here as long as she wants him to. The only light in the apartment is from the lamp next to him, and he looks soft and bright and golden above her.</p><p>She lets herself have a few moments to study him, the slope of his nose and his long fingers at the edge of his book and the soft, slightly messy swope of his hair. He seems totally engrossed in his book, and there’s something enchanting about seeing all his considerable attention concentrated on something pleasurable, something he loves doing instead of something for work.</p><p><em> He’s beautiful </em>, she thinks, and it makes something in her chest ache. Olivia is fairly certain that Rafael Barba considers himself difficult to love, and that’s simply not true. Hard to like at times maybe, when he decides he’d just rather be an asshole, but not at all hard to love, not once you’re past the armor.</p><p>She covets her own place underneath that armor, the one he has allowed her and the one she has made for herself.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>He hums in recognition, not looking up from his book.</p><p>“Hey,” she repeats, more insistent, and he closes the book over his thumb, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>He smiles. Not his usual smirk, or the close lipped one he lets slip when he can’t help himself, but his full grin, open and delighted, the one that takes years off his face.</p><p>“I know that.”</p><p>“Yeah. I know you do. But it’s still good to say it. It’s a good thing to say.”</p><p>She settles back down into the couch, sighing when Rafael tucks a bit of her hair behind her ear.</p><p>“Hey,” he says, and she smiles at him.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“I love you, too.”</p><p>“I know. But that’s good. Otherwise things might have been awkward.”</p><p>He laughs, setting his book aside, and she sits up, but only for long enough that she can tug and cajole him into lying down himself with another laugh. Once he’s comfortable, she lies down next to him, shifting so that he’s spooned up behind her, his arm over her waist.</p><p>“Comfortable?” he asks, and she nods.</p><p>“Very.”</p><p>“That’s good.” She feels him press a kiss against the back of her head. “What exactly are we doing?”</p><p>“We’re taking a nap.”</p><p>“I think you have to call it something else when it’s happening this late at night.”</p><p>“No, just a nap. We’ll wake up at midnight and eat ice cream. Like a sleepover.”</p><p>“I don’t think kids traditionally take evening naps at sleepovers.”</p><p>“I hate to break it to you, Barba, but we’re old now. We have to make some adjustments to the formula.”</p><p>He chuckles, and she can feel the vibrations of it in her own chest. She settles back against him as he pulls the blanket off the back of the couch to drape over them, feeling warm and loved.</p><p> </p>
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